Avoid Auto Theft with the No-Fail Car Alarm
by Shirley Gilfert
a new car can be a pretty thrilling occasion, especially if
the old one
is slowly showing its age as much as you're showing yours.
Even though the man
in your life keeps telling you you're not getting older, you're
nothing can make you believe it until he presents you with
a new car for your
had been admiring this particular chariot for several weeks,
had even tried
it out, but being the Depression Era kid that I was, I hesitated
to spend the
money because my old car was "perfectly good." So
what if it looked more like
a yacht than an automobile? Maybe the paint had faded from
a brilliant blue
to a washed out gray. Maybe there were a few rips in the upholstery
children, now in college, had gotten a little rambunctious
when they were small.
I couldn't justify spending that much money while old Guinevere
was still running.
So imagine my joy when my husband drove into the driveway
and came bouncing
into the house with the manual for my 2001 dream vehicle in
birthday, honey!" he beamed as he handed the manual to
me. "Here's everything
you need to know about your new car." He laid it down,
then shouted, "Come
on, we're going to drive into Omaha to celebrate your birthday."
he immediately bounced back out the door and got inside that
I glanced out the window and saw him sitting in the car, waiting.
I rushed around to lock up the house, the car's horn began
to honk, not
once, not twice, but continually.
as I started out the door, the phone rang. It was a neighbor
who was concerned
that something must be wrong over here. She said our car horn
and honking, did I know it? Now I may be getting old, but
I am not hard of
hearing! Of course, I knew it! I explained that it was just
Gil's way of hurrying
me up, and of course she understood how husbands are.
hurried outside, the horn still blaring incessantly. The windows
were all up
and my husband's face was extremely red. I wasn't sure if
it was the heat of a
closed-up car or high blood pressure, but I couldn't help
but sound a little testy
when I tapped on the window.
heaven's sake, Gil! Honking that horn incessantly is not going
to get me
here any faster. Now stop it!"
I'm not touching it and it still honks."
least roll down the window so I don't have to shout!"
They won't work."
start the motor. Maybe that will stop the horn."
Already tried it. It won't start."
in the manual and see what it says!" I said between
The manual is in the house on the kitchen counter. Go in and
get it and
read it to me."
voice was getting hoarse from trying to shout above the noise
of the horn and his face was getting redder by the minute.
I had a feeling it was not from
the heat of a closed car. I hurried into the house, grabbed
the manual and ran
outside, and immediately began to thumb through the manual,
trying hard not to
laugh while reading to him.
have you got the remote?"
held it up for me to see.
Just push the unlock button."
once he didn't question the wisdom of this. He pushed "unlock," the horn
quit honking, the doors unlocked, and when he turned the key
the motor leapt into action and purred like a kitten.
began to read to him what the manual said about the anti-theft
into the car, but he didn't seem eager to hear it. He just
opened the door
and walked around to the passenger side, saying, "You drive!"