"For heaven's sake, Gil! Honking that horn incessantly is not going to get me here any faster. Now stop it!"

"Can't! I'm not touching it and it still honks."

"At least roll down the window so I don't have to shout!"

"Can't. They won't work."

"Well, start the motor. Maybe that will stop the horn."

"Can't! Already tried it. It won't start."

"Look in the manual and see what it says!" I suggested between giggles.

"Can't! The manual is in the house on the kitchen counter. Go in and get it and read it to me."

His voice was getting hoarse from trying to shout above the noise of the horn and his face was getting redder by the minute. I had a feeling it was not from the heat of a closed car. I hurried into the house, grabbed the manual and ran outside, and immediately began to thumb through the manual, trying hard not to laugh while reading to him.

"Okay, have you got the remote?" 

He held it up for me to see.

"Okay. Just push the unlock button."

For once he didn't question the wisdom of this. He pushed "unlock" and the horn quit honking, the door unlocked, and when he turned the key the motor immediately leapt into action and purred like a kitten.

I began to read to him what the manual said about the anti-theft devices built into the car, but he didn't seem eager to hear it. He just opened the door and walked around to the other side, saying, "You drive!"

(...BACK)