As innocent bystanders, many of us have been forced to listen to personal pillow talk and intimate details of the night before. There are phone fights and foul-mouthed arguments, even threats of violence. But even worse, are those who share details of upcoming business deals or private information about legal matters. Firms and companies need to know that some of their most trusted team players are in public places, bellowing some of the most private details about a pending case or deal. If one wanted to get the upper hand on insider trading, or an upcoming murder trial, or a top-secret business deal, all one would have to do is follow his competition around with a tape recorder.

Let's move on to the lovebirds -- ranging from lovesick teenagers to those having adulterous affairs. They speak on their cell as if no one else is around making cooing noises and saying all those goofy things we all say when we're in love. The difference is that most of us do this behind closed doors or in soft breathy whispers so no one else can hear but the intended.

Add the loud cackling laughter and giggling to all that and you have the recipe to one lewd and lascivious cell phone conversation in all the wrong places. And that's just the woman's end of the call. Of course, most men don't cackle, however, the love talk from the stud's end is usually much more comical. I never realized there were so many things that could be performed between two (or three) naked people, or that there were so many toys to….. errrr, enhance the experience. Where have I been? I guess they don't sell that stuff at Neiman Marcus. Silly me.

While women tend to be a little less forceful and quieter when using their cell phones in public places, there are those who rank high in cell phone rudeness. In fact, some are so loud that I've discretely held my forefinger up to my lips from across the room, puckered my mouth into the "shhhhh" formation to let them know they're talking loudly, hoping to save a sister from embarrassing herself. Some are appreciative, as they weren't aware that they were speaking above normal range. Others merely reply with a finger of a different kind, one with more of a universal understanding, then walk away to sit in the midst of another crowd to ensure a new audience of unwilling listeners.

Granted, some cell phones and cell phone plans leave little to be desired, hence Verizon's clever and stuck-in-our-brain commercial, "Can you hear me now?" However, knowing that all phones don't always work well under all circumstances or locations, we all need to be more cognizant of our surroundings when making phone calls in public places. (CONTINUE...)